September Strategies: How we do what we do

September is right around the corner, and that usually heralds the 'start up' of our fall activities. School is back in session; we put away thoughts of vacation and cottage; and are prepared to bend ourselves back to the grindstone.

And this year I've found myself asking, “Is that the best way?”. Can we not work smarter, rather than harder? I'd like to think so, and as is the case with my coaching clients, there are a few guidelines that seem to help.

For this to be effective, it's important to tackle one area of your life at a time. I always ask clients, “What area of your life (health, career, relationship) if it were brought up to your expectations, would have the most impact on the rest of the areas of your life?” That's the area to do this exercise with. Pick one or two key 'pain points' (I don't make enough money for example) and then go on to the paragraph's below.

First we need to determine if the problem is the 'what' or the 'how'. Is it 'what' you are seeking or attempting to accomplish that is the problem, or is it 'how' you are going about it? The following questions will all determine if it is a 'how' problem:

1. Do you find yourself continually stuck in the same pattern? Dating the wrong people or playing out the same relationship dynamics? Maybe fighting with not making enough money, or not having enough health?


2. Are you physically, emotionally, or mentally tired (or exhausted) from fighting the same fight? Is there part of you that says to yourself “I just don't know how much more I have to give?”


3. Do you find yourself getting to your goal, and then slipping back again? Quitting and then restarting to smoke, or losing and regaining those few pounds?


4. Do you feel that if you were just stronger, or had more willpower than you could just get to where you needed to be?


5. Or have you just accepted that 'it's just the way it is', and you'll never be able to change?
   

If any (or all) of the above sound like you, don't despair. It's just a strategy, and the good news about strategies is that they are changeable. Strategies are 'how' we do what we do...at the unconscious level. In certain situations where feelings are triggered, a behaviour automatically follows. And it's fast! The strategy fires and runs, often within seconds. And yes, we have a strategy for everything that we do.

A friend of mine often reminds me that doing the same thing, over and over again, while expecting a different result, is the definition of insanity! From an NLP Coaching perspective, it's also a strategy and so it can be shifted to work with your current situation!

So, on a practical level here are some tools to move us in the right direction. I find it's helpful to think like a designer in terms of how things blend together, and to stay focused on my big picture.

1. Although it's been said before, “If you want something different, you need to DO something different.”. So find something to add to your routine that is different. Speak to someone different about your situation; read a book; go to a training...as long as it's different from what you already do.


2. The brain doesn't act on a negative. What that means is you can't 'not do' something, you have to replace it with something else instead. So instead of 'not snacking', you go for a 10 minute walk instead.


3. Do your new something for 3 weeks, and it will be your new automatic behaviour.
   

I love working with strategies because often the smallest change, produces the most amazing results. So as we move into September, remember to play with the design of your life. You are the designer, after all, so enjoy your renovations. I wish you all of the colours, textures and sounds to make your experience the most vivid for you!